2013-14 School Year

And... finally it was the first day of school.  :)

Lexie had to be to school at 6 am for Drill practice, so... this was taken AFTER school. :)  You have to catch her when you can.  She is a busy girl.  This year, Lex started her Sophomore year at Layton High School.  Go Lancers!

 

This was a BIG year for Jackson.  He started 7th grade.  It was quite a bit for him to process AND it was his birthday so that made the day extra hard.  Who wants to go to the first day of school on your birthday!  Simply cruel!

 

From Instagram:  Oh myyyyy... I have seriously thought about this day since he was born. Jr. High can be brutal. In a way, I felt like I was throwing him to the wolves. Never before have I dropped him at a curb. We went to orientation, found his classes, and practiced his locker combination. Nothing else for this momma to do but send him on his way. After all, moms CAN'T GO in with you on the first day of 7th grade. Not cool. I'm sure we will have some bugs to work out, but I hope this will be a GREAT year. Plus.... IT'S HIS B-DAY TODAY! Happy 13th birthday Jackson. You are one amazing kid!

 

Oh myyyyy... I have seriously thought about this day since he was born. Jr. High can be brutal. In a way, I felt like I was throwing him to the wolves. Never before have I dropped him at a curb. We went to orientation, found his classes, and practiced his locker combination. Nothing else for this momma to do but send him on his way. After all, moms CAN'T GO in with you on the first day of 7th grade. Not cool. I'm sure we will have some bugs to work out, but I hope this will be a GREAT year. Plus.... IT'S HIS B-DAY TODAY! Happy 13th birthday Jackson. You are one amazing kid!
Read more at http://web.stagram.com/p/531096388939193262_45003493#hfTg7yXPk1bLTe6c.99

Oh myyyyy... I have seriously thought about this day since he was born. Jr. High can be brutal. In a way, I felt like I was throwing him to the wolves. Never before have I dropped him at a curb. We went to orientation, found his classes, and practiced his locker combination. Nothing else for this momma to do but send him on his way. After all, moms CAN'T GO in with you on the first day of 7th grade. Not cool. I'm sure we will have some bugs to work out, but I hope this will be a GREAT year. Plus.... IT'S HIS B-DAY TODAY! Happy 13th birthday Jackson. You are one amazing kid!
Read more at http://web.stagram.com/p/531096388939193262_45003493#hfTg7yXPk1bLTe6c.99

 

Collin started 4th grade.  He was so excited to be out of French and he landed one of the best teachers, Mr. Reeve.  We had high hopes that it was going to be his best year yet!

 

Izzy started 2nd grade with Mrs. Arnell and Mdm. Hassell. We had a break through - no tears the first day.  Way to be strong, Izzy!

 

 

2nd grade.... When I was doing her hair she said, "Mom, I'm not going to cry this year". Then, when I was walking her down the hall to her class she said, "I'm not crying, I just accidentally poked myself in the eye so my eye is just watering.". When she found her desk and sat down she was all smiles. She is either a GREAT actress or is excited to be in school. Maybe it is a little of both. :). So proud of this little minute for conquering her fear. Love you Izzy Busy!
Read more at http://web.stagram.com/p/531100821823592460_45003493#EQGomustF5afkGbb.99

 

Our Dopp crew at school is shrinking.  With Jackson leaving, we are down to five Dopps.  Next year adding Tolly will balance Ari's departure. :)

Do you like Collin's red vans?  When we were school shopping, they were his top priority. :)

 

From Instagram:  2nd grade.... When I was doing her hair she said, "Mom, I'm not going to cry this year". Then, when I was walking her down the hall to her class she said, "I'm not crying, I just accidentally poked myself in the eye so my eye is just watering.". When she found her desk and sat down she was all smiles. She is either a GREAT actress or is excited to be in school. Maybe it is a little of both. :). So proud of this little minute for conquering her fear. Love you Izzy Busy!

 

After school, we continued our tradition of grabbing a Yogo Togo Frozen Yogurt to celebrate the day.  Jackson was teary when we picked him up.  It was a long day for him.  He was sad he had to spend his birthday in school and that the other kids had early out and beat him home.  Life can be so hard.  But... after we had our yogurts he seemed a bit better.  We went home to celebrate his big day with cake and presents.

 

Happy Birthday, buddy.  This year you turned 13!  It has been quite a journey for all of us.  We are so proud of you for all of your accomplishments.  You have to work hard every day to keep your world stable.  Some days are easier than others.  As much fun as this life is, I'm really looking forward to the day that you are free from the limitations of this life.  You have such a strong spirit.  Your mortal body hinders you in so many ways and clouds your mind.  I'm proud of you for all you do to make progress.  You have come so far and I know that in the next 13 years you will make great strides as a young adult working his way to adult life and independence.  We love you Jacks! 

 

 

And... as a bonus, here is a pic of Jackson and his / Ryan's :) Science Fair Project from 6th grade.  He tried to identify the best recipe for GAK. :) 

 

 

 

Since Ryan was out of town, we tried to end the night on a good note by going out to dinner.  It was SO nice to see so many smiles.

2013 This is the Place...

Last summer we finally made it to This is the Place State Park, by Hogle Zoo.  I've wanted to take the kids ever since they were little, but.... I'm kinda cheap and that place is a bit pricey when you have a big family.  So.... I waited for the free day.  They have a few each year AND we were even given a ticket for free ice cream.  It is hard to beat FREE!

 

Even though summer around here is pretty dang warm, we braved the dust and heat and found our way to the park.  The kids liked the old houses, petting zoo, the old school house, tee-pee, pioneer towns, and mercantile.  Can I just say once again, I'm so thankful I wasn't a pioneer.  Yes, I know... they didn't have things like pornography, illicit and easy to find drugs, as many social pressures, etc.  But.... they also didn't have great medication and simple things like microwaves and lotion.  I'm thankful I'm a 1973 girl.  Heavenly Father knew what he was doing when he sent me to earth at this particular time. :)

 

 

Love this boy.  He is challenged.  For him, every day life is a dichotomy.  He wants to go on outings, but they are challenging.  Outings include lots of people, lots of walking, heat, having to endure siblings for an extended length of time, and so much more.  Life would be easier if we didn't have to do anything and we stayed in pajamas all day.  Some days, I totally agree with him. 

 

 

This picture is so great.  Look how patient he is letting "sister" (love that nick name) kiss him.  This was a good day.  On other days, that would elicit a HUGE ole melt down.

I love all my kids.  Each one is unique.  While the family adapts and finds ways to make peace with Jackson and his constant need for accommodation, they each should be recognized for what they bring to our family.  Alexis is our fashionista with an old soul and caring heart.  While she lives for social opportunities and events, she also values our family and the relationships we're building each day.  I love that some days she'll choose hanging out with me over friends.  How many 15 year old girls will do that? :)

 

Collin is our gentle soul.  While he loves to tease and be a times, a pestering brother to Izzy, he also is sensitive, quiet, and introspective.  He LOVES hanging with his dad, listening to adult conversations, and watching out for our family members.  I can always count on Collin to be helpful, polite, and thoughtful.  Even though he hates to clean his room, we always know that he loves us and would rather spend time with us than friends.

 

Izzy Busy..... what a cherubic end to our family.  My heart hurts for this little one.  She will never have little siblings to hold, but she'll be blessed in other ways.  The other kids are a little jealous of the opportunities she'll have in life because of her placement.  They already talk about their childhood vs hers. :)  Even though she is the first one to give hugs, she also inherited Lexie's swag and sass.  She may be little, but we already know she is mighty.

 

 



 

We have fun adventures.  The only sad part.... dad is at work.  We're grateful that his efforts make our lives possible!  We love ya, Dad!

2013 Last Day of School

When the last day of school hits, it is always astonishing to look back and see how quickly the year has passed.  The 2012-13 school year was no exception.  Here is a peek back at the kids on the last day of school.

Izzy and Collin had grown so much.  They would both beg to differ.  Most likely they will always be one of the smallest in their classes.  I often tell them being small is not always a bad thing.  After all, you usually get to sit on the front row on picture day.  That is a perk. :)  Then, when you are looking back at your class pictures ages from now, you'll be easy to spot. :) 

Izzy finished 1st grade, Collin finished 3rd.  Yes, Izzy's shorts are kinda short.  It was the last day.  What are they going to do, send her home.  Some days it is all about what clothes are clean.  Ya know? :)  I'm not sure why Col chose jeans.  Boy how things change.  Last year he wouldn't wear shorts.  This year I have to remind him it is snowing and that shorts aren't appropriate. :)  I sure love that boy.

 

 

 

 

This was a big day for Jackson.  He finished 6th grade and completed his time at Sam Morgan Elementary.  It was a bitter sweet.  Even though we are so grateful for his progress and success, we knew the end of elementary would bring a whole new element of challenges to his life.  Junior High can be brutal for any kid.  Add in disabilities, curriculum, anxiety, locker combinations, A / B Day schedules, gym, insane lunch rooms, etc., and you have one nervous mama.

 

 

After getting all the kids out the door and on the bus, I headed down to the Jr. High to watch Lexie.  It was her last day of 9th grade and her last day as a Fairfield Cheerleader.  The squad was performing in the final assembly and I didn't want to miss it.  They did a great job on their dance and their stunting.  The squad endured several challenges during the year.  As I watched them perform together this final time, I couldn't help but feel proud of them.  When they started, they were such a young, fresh team.  Many of the girls had never stunted before.  The final assemble was so fun to watch.  I hope the girls were proud of themselves for coming together to form a strong team.

 

 

 

Ryan picked up a little treat for the kids and left it for them on the dining table.  It was a fun surprise for them to find when they came home.  Ryan is a great dad.  He is always looking for ways to surprise and connect with the kids.  We are so lucky.

 

After stopping at the Jr. High, I headed back to the elementary for Jackson's 6th grade graduation program.  Ryan was already there as we had to divide and conquer to be able to hit all the kids' programs.  He recorded the first part of Jackson's program for me so I wouldn't miss a thing.

 

 

Jackson receiving his diploma from the principal and his teacher.

 

 

 

Jackson's teacher, Mrs. Chesley.

 

 

 

After his program, Ryan and I took J to our favorite local frozen yogurt shop to celebrate.  See that smile?  Those are kinda rare so when you see one, you know it is the real deal.  We are so proud of him for completing this milestone in his life.  Even though he has many challenges, he works hard every day to keep all the balls in the air and function as best he can.  Way to go.  You will always be our little J-Bird.

 

 

After frozen yogurt, it was back to the Jr. High to pick up Lex and her friends.  The school descended upon K-town fast food establishments and eateries.  It was fun to drive her crew around and see all her friends one more time.  Sophomore year was going to bring big changes for these kids.  Sadly, they would be split between two local high schools.  Even though they are great friends now, life happens, and some of those friendships will fade.  As they exited the car one last time, they waved and said, "Thanks for the ride, Mama Dopp! (their fav nick name for me and my big, white Denali)".  I hope the kids' paths will continue to cross.  They all have such bright futures ahead of them.

 

Next up.... SUMMER!

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair...

Sometimes life isn’t fair.  In fact, sometimes it just sucks.  Some days, you just want someone to fix all the hard things in your life at that very moment.  But…. Life is what it is, right?  We all know those hard things are there to help us learn and grow.  But, sometimes that truth doesn’t make the process any easier.

Yesterday, I went to see a new Ph.D. who I’d hoped would help us get to the bottom of some reoccurring “Jackson” behaviors.  We’ve done behavior therapy before.  It wasn’t a cure all by any means.  Things with J are okay and he is doing great.  But… they could be better.  He has this underlying current of tension that could erupt at any moment.  It makes for a stressful home life.  (Funny thing – he is quite the angel at school and church.)

I kind of knew going into this appointment how it was going to turn out.  Ryan and I were both leery.  Not that we're pessimistic people, but just the reality of our situation is that chromosome duplications can’t be removed.  Plus, after being at this for 12.5 years, is there any new information that is going to change our world? 

As I suspected, all of the top doc’s strategies were things we’ve already tried - nothing new there.   He gave us strategies to help with the moods and the screaming - strategies that we’re already using.  Yes, there are things we can tweak.  Yes, there are things we could do better.  No one is perfect.  So, we’re going to try this again and hope we can stay focused to help Jackson break some of these bad habits.

The challenging part is to know when to apply which strategy and keeping your cool in the midst of chronic behavior.  With Jacks, you never quite know which mood you’re going to get.  All of a sudden you’ll be at DEFCON 10.  He could be a ray of sunshine, or he could come unglued at the littlest thing.  A lot of his behaviors occur without provocation.  So… you know…. You just need to be ready.  Fun, right? 

After I left the doctor’s office, I wasn’t hopeful.  In fact, I was anything but.  I knew we could try the tweaked techniques, but I kind of knew in my heart the frustrations we deal with on a daily basis are not going away.  The flat mood, the irritation with others, being easily frustrated, not flexible, etc. are always going to be there on some level and that makes me sad.  Like, really sad.

And, if I’m being honest, it also makes me sad the family has to navigate such a toxic and fragile environment.  At some point or another, I’ve had heart to hearts with every family member and they've all expressed the same frustration and grief.  Luckily we all struggle at different times and so we can be a support to one another in this marathon.   And, we can be a support to Jackson.  We know this isn’t fun for him either.  We all know this isn’t a sprint.

On the bright side, the appointment made me affirmed in my parenting.  When a doctor says you need to do this, this, and this, and you already are doing that, it makes you feel like you have a good grasp of the situation.  Again, we’re not perfect, but we’re not floundering either.  So… that’s a positive.

But then again, there is the sadness; sadness this won’t ever change, sadness the other kids have grief over the brother they thought they would have, did have at one point in their life (in their mind), and sadness that every outing and interaction takes this child’s reactions into account.  We all have to be very flexible.  The rest of the family is at times, help hostage to his needs.  Sometimes it is hard to have joy in this kind of service.

I realize that must sound really, really awful.  Just trying to keep things real.  And, I probably didn’t word that the right way.  I think the challenge and the frustrating aspect to these behavior spikes is that you never know when they are going to hit.  You think you have your bases covered and that you’ve adapted to account for his needs, and then a bomb will go off. 

Take San Diego for instance.  We were having a perfectly nice walk along the beach and boardwalk as a family.  Jackson said something in appropriate and we corrected him.  Instead of stopping, his tendency is to repeat and repeat.  This was an important dialogue and we couldn’t let him continue.  It needed to be addressed.  The situation turned out to be very frustrating for the entire family and quite the scene.  Every time these situations happen, whether at home or in the community, it breaks our hearts a little.   There is a level of grief that resurfaces when you lose perspective and frustration takes over. 

 

Yesterday’s appointment was a bit of an eye opener and another stage in my grief.  I thought, “This is it.  It probably isn’t going to get a lot better.”  In the big picture, it doesn’t matter.  I get that and I hold on to my hope of eternal truths tightly.  But, if you can’t find the joy, sometimes it is hard to enjoy the freaking journey.  You want your family to enjoy each other, not tolerate each other.  You want them to have good memories of home, not of anger and fighting.  You also want your son to have joy.  You want him to enjoy his life and be engaged. 

It makes me sad to see him frustrated, bored, scared, tired, angry, friendless, and so much more.  A lot of times, I realize I’m trying to push my hopes on to him.  I admit it is hard for me to decipher when to push him and when to let him be.  But, I’m the mom.  It’s my job to help him reach goals and be as successful and as independent as possible.  Although, when I see him struggle and I know he is unhappy, I know he feels the grief too.

Just so you know we aren’t Debbie Downers around here.  We do have lots of good moments and days with joy.  The more the family can regulate their reactions, the fewer the outbursts.  This morning, as I was helping Jackson get ready for school, I could tell he was ON ONE.  This could have easily been a knock out, drag out, morning.  But… I was focused and ready for him.  Within a minute, I had him turned around and we were on to the next thing.  We sat down and did his piano practice (crap, Circ… I’m turning into that mom J), we got his teeth brushed (I help him because he doesn’t have the dexterity to brush adequately – raging gingivitis last year), hair done, and math program done, etc.  We made it.  Maybe just the act of going to the Ph.D. will be the answer.  Maybe it is just like reporting your weight when you are trying to lose.  Maybe the accountability will be the key.  We’ll see.  I can’t think about it too much or I get overwhelmed at the amount of mental energy each day requires.

 

Because of the hope I have and the gospel principles I know to be true, I’m able to wrap my head around what we’re dealing with daily.  We’ve made it this far.  There has been so much progress over the last 12 years!  I know we’ll make it.  I just hope everyone makes it in one piece and with some good memories and life lessons. 

 

Everyone has something in their life that is a MAJOR challenge!!!  If you think they don’t, you just don’t know them that well.  Or, maybe they are unlucky and their Goliath is waiting in the wings.  In fact, a few days ago, I was kind of bummed about how things were going with Jacks.  I’ve always heard people say they wouldn’t ever want to switch challenges with another person.  So… I thought about that.  I started to think of people I knew who were going through tough challenges.  And you know what… they were right   I don’t want another person’s challenges.  They are too hard.  I think I’ll stick to the life lessons we’re learning, thank you very much. J

 

Some days, all you can do is breath in, breath out, and think to yourself, “You can do this!  You and Ryan can do hard things.   Lex can do hard things.   Jackson can do hard things.  Collin can do hard things.  Isabella can do hard things.  Come what may and love it.  This will be fine.  It will all work out.” 

Deep Inhale……..

 

Our Brother, Jackson...

I love this video.  Even though our situation is a bit different, this is a glimpse of what we feel.  When I showed this video to Collin and Izzy, Isabella said, "That sounds like Jackson". 

Sometimes our home is not very peaceful.  Sometimes the whole house is acutely aware of how Jackson is feeling.  Sometimes, it is hard to not get frustrated yourself. 

But, I do know this.  I agree completely with Hyrum's dad.  I too know that one day Jackson will be able to more easily communicate with us.  I know his mind will be less frustrated and his words will flow more easily.  I know he is a son of God and I  know that we love him.  And.... even though he may not always show it, I know he loves us.

Jason or Jackson....

Jason, I mean Jackson, arriving at Grandma's for dinner on  Sunday in his jammies.  This one has his own style. :)

The Unfinished List...

I'm so behind on posting that I'm not even sure if I've already posted this or not. :) 

Oh well.  If I have, then you get to see it again.

Every summer, we create a family fun list.  It contains all the fun things we want to do during the summer.  The kids help me create it and we write down every one's must have activities for the summer.  A chocolate fondue night was on Jackson's top ten list.

Well, summer came and went, and we never seemed to find the time to knock that one off the list.  But, who says you can only have fun in the summer.  One night we decided to pull out the fondue fountain and have some yummy fun.  As you can tell by the pictures, it was a delicious success.