Snapshots from the cabin...

Our family loves going up to the property in Idaho.  It is only an hour in a half away, but once you get there, you feel removed from the stresses and pressures of home. 

 

For the past few years, my greatest desire for the property was getting a hammock.  Laying under the trees with a book sounded like heaven.  Something about the cabin makes one oh so sleepy. 

 

On one of our first trips to Idaho, we came across this inexpensive hammock.  It was perfect for testing my theory of proper cabin relaxation.

 

 

I was right.  It was heaven. Sometimes.... I even share. :)

 

Here are few random pics of Collin.  Lex is always cornering Collin for fashion blog pictures.  This time it was Lex who was behind the lens. 

 

I also found this pic on the camera.  One of Lexie's favorite memories of the cabin is sitting around with Grandma Dopp and painting or working on some sort of craft or art project.  For a few years this sat on our table in our trailer.  Now I think it has found a more permanent home by the cabin.  We are so lucky to have our own private Garden of Eden.  Hopefully our early spring will last.  We can't wait to get back up to Idaho and open the place up for 2014.  Bring on summer!

Mother's Day 2013 and Glimpses...

I love how technology evolves.  I used to be a huge blogger.  But then, I put found myself putting more time into different projects and lost my passion for blogging.  I recently heard a keynote address from the Roots Tech conference.  (I think that's what it's called.)  They talked about how important it is to document life - in whatever way you choose to do so.  Whether that be blogging, journals, scrapbooking, videos, etc.  You chose what is BEST for YOU.  There is not a right or wrong way to do it.  So... Even though most of our recent memories have been recorded through our cameras and Instagram, I hope I can eventually get our highlights and some low lights recorded here as well. 

 

In addition to Ryan's Birthday, May brought us our first trip to the cabin.  I have many passions in life.  One of them is s'mores. :)  I think they are heaven.  And, each summer I eat way too many of them.  But... for posterity's sake, I recorded the first official s'more of 2013.  It is the only way to kick off a summer.  We did manage to get a bit of work done at the cabin as well. 

 

 

Ryan is so lucky to share his birthday with our angel niece, Alene.  When I picked up Ryan's birthday balloons, I also wanted to get one for Alene.  We can't wait to get to know this sweet girl in the next life. 

 

May also brought the Imagine Dragon's Concert at UVU in Orem.  Ryan had purchased three tickets for me and Ryan and Lexie.  Sadly, he was called out of town for stupid work.  We ended up taking Lexie's friend, Whitney Cox.  While we had a fun time, we sure missed having our dad there.  He would have loved every minute. 

 

On Mother's Day, Izzy wrote me this darling note.

 

It says:

I love you because you do the dishes and my class (volunteer at school), and tuck me in to bed at night and find the time to read a fairy tale.  I am so glad that you can be my mom.  You are a beautiful girl and there's sometimes that I frustrate you.  But, there you are to teach me from right from wrong.  I love you.

 

Ohhhh!!!!  I love my kids. 

 

The start of summer also brought more photo shoots for Lexie.  For a while there she had a bit of a booming photog business.  I took her to a family photo shoot at the temple.  She needed me as a test subject for this temple shot.  It has been fun for me to accompany her as she has developed this talent.  She has a creative eye and sees things other do not.  No matter which of her passions stick with her, I know she will go far in life.  She just will.  She is just awesome like that. :)

 

The end of the year also brought lots of time in school class rooms.  This one was for Mom's and Muffins.  Izzy thought I had forgotten. I would never do that!  I never want to miss one of those special days.  That is the whole reason I do what I do in life - so I can be available for those special moments.  I sure love my sweet girl.

In May, Lex went to the High School to take her AP Geography test.  While the test didn't pan out for credit, I'm proud of her for doing her best.  It was a great learning experience and will help her in her future as she chooses classes and has additional placement testing.  Plus... she is darling, so..... :)

 

 

And with that... May was a wrap.  Well, except for Memorial Day and the last day of school.  Let's see if I can stick with this and post those sooner rather than later.

I Finally Dared To...

Last Friday was a BIG day for me.  The end of an era really.  I was finally able to end my relationship with glasses and contacts.  Forever!  Well, okay.... maybe not forever.  But, at least for a few years anyway.  I  know reading glasses are in my future.  But,I hope that's a few years off.  And really, with ipads and adjustable fonts, maybe not even then.  We'll see.  I hope to have a few years of being lens free. 

 

My vision started changing around the end of elementary school.  By Jr. High, I was sporting the nice 80's wood frames.  Sweet huh?!  Big bangs, big hair, big perms, big glasses. 

 

After a year or two of glasses, I knew they weren't for me.  I made the switch to gas permeable contact lenses.  They were SO uncomfortable.  In fact, I could only get one of them in without too much trouble.  And even then, they irritated my eyes and would turn them red.  People always thought I had been crying. :)  So, a lot of times, I would only wear one contact.  Nice.  I'm sure that did wonders for my vision. :)

 

 

After high school, I finally discovered soft lenses and lenses you could sleep in at night.  Those were a dream compared to the lenses I started out with years earlier.  I think the extended wear lenses were part of the reason I didn't make Lasik Surgery a priority.  That and the cost of Lasik.  Contacts were too easy.  I would put a pair in my eyes and forgot about them for a few weeks.  All I had to do was put a drop in my eye every morning and night to moisturize.  Again, not recommended, but it worked for me. 

 

After about twenty years of good luck with contacts and wearing a pair of disposable lenses, my eyes started to fight back.  I could no longer sleep in my lenses and my eyes started to become more maintenance.  It was about then I started saving money in our Health Care Savings account toward Lasik.

 



Lasik is about $1800 per eye.  After a bit, I finally had money saved for the procedure.  The only problem now was my lack of courage.  I don't know... call me crazy, but knowing a laser is going to cut your eye kind of freaked me out.  I ended up saving that money in our account for about two years before I FINALLY called and made the appointment. 

 

I decided to go with Dr. Sykes at Mount Ogden Eye Center.  He has an office in  Bountiful and Ogden.  After researching several doctors, I decided to go with him because he is one of the guys that "fixes" other doctors' mistakes.  I had heard good and bad things about a lot of other doctors in the Salt Lake Valley.  With Dr. Sykes I had only heard good reports.  Here is their website link: http://www.mountogdeneye.com/index.html

 

At my initial visit, they measured my eyes to determine the thickness of my cornea.  You have to have a certain level of thickness to be a lasik candidate.  To test the thickness of your cornea, you look through a machine and stare at a light.  Easy breezy!

 

The hard part  about preparing for lasik for me was wearing glasses for two weeks prior to the procedure.  That was torture. 

 

Finally the morning of the procedure arrived.  I had to be at the clinic at 7:00 am.  I signed some papers, paid my money, and took a Valium.  (I recommend taking the Valium.:)  I then went into the prep room where they wiped my eye lids with a bit of iodine, and put some numbing drops in my eyes.  The doctor took one more peek at my eyes and were ready to go.

 

I walked back to the procedure room and took my place on a reclining chair like table.  They added a few more drops just for good measure.  I was nervous, but I hoped it would be fine.  The team didn't really talk me through the step by step procedure.  For that, I was grateful.  I didn't really want to hear, "Okay, now we are cutting the top of your eye."  Ya know.

 

 

After I was all situated, they angled the first machine over my right eye and patched my left eye.  I think the worst part of the procedure was the pressure you feel from the machine (or whatever it was) on your eye socket.  Nothing about the procedure hurt.  Or, at least I don't remember it hurting.  I just remember feeling like they were pushing REALLY hard on my eye socket.  After the cut is made over your cornea, that eye goes black.  I have to admit, I was a little nervous.  I remember thinking, "I sure hope they get this right."

 

 

 

After the cornea is cut, they swivel you over to the laser where the vision correction is made.  They then swivel you back to the first station where they basically fold your cornea back down into place.  It was quick, easy, and painless.  Before I knew it, they were on to the left eye. 

 

When I was done, I sat up and walked over to one more machine where they checked my eyes.  I could already see better than I could without my contacts.  My vision was cloudy, but I could see.  It was amazing.  I was out the door by 8:00 am.  You are not supposed to drive home yourself.  But, if you could drive home, I could see well enough to drive. 

 

The first day of surgery, you wear these nifty little glasses.  You also get to sleep in them for the first five nights. I guess they have you wear them so you don't rub your eyes in the night.  We were home by 8:30 in the morning and by then, my Valium had really kicked in.  I laid down and rested until noon.  By noon, my vision was more improved, less cloudy, and even more clear.  I was surprised my vision was improving so fast.  I went back to the doctor at 4:00 that afternoon for a check up.  Everything looked great.

 

I took an ibuprofen two times within the first two days.  It wasn't crucial, but they told me to take something if my eyes felt irritated.  The discomfort would compare to how your eyes feel after you've been swimming all day.  They felt especially tired the first day.  However, maybe that was due in part to the Valium.  Saturday was much better.  In fact, Saturday I shuttled Lex in the car and was totally fine in the daylight and dark.  I did  notice that first night in the dark that headlights had a larger than normal halo effect.  However, as the days have gone by, that has improved as well.

 

There is a series of drops you place in your eyes in the days following the surgery.  For someone who has worn contacts for years, the drops are no big deal.  In addition to the goggles at night, there are a few other restrictions.  No eye make up for 5 days (not gonna lie - kinda hard for me to not wear mascara), no swimming or hot tubs for two weeks, and no lakes or rivers for a month.  So, for all you avid water skiers, summer is probably not the best time for you to get lasik.

 

Would I do it again.  YES!!!!!!  I only wish I would have done it in my twenties.  Even though my method of contacts was easy, contacts were still a pain in the scheme of things.  You were aware of them and had to be careful when swimming, dust in your eyes, four wheeling, etc.  If you are currently wearing contacts or glasses.  Check into lasik.  It is wonderful.  It is worth the mental anguish.  That is all it is... mental (no pain), and a bit of cash. :)

 

UPDATE - Just a few more pieces of info.

*  At the first initial consult, they also give you a vision exam.  All exams and tests are included in the price of the procedure.

*  Because I didn't have a good option for glasses (my back up pair were ghastly), the clinic can order a pair of glasses for you.  The cost of the glasses (up to $100) goes towards your procedure.  So, the frames I ordered weren't completely trendy and hip, but.... they weren't as bad as the option I had at home.  And to be fair... I tried on hipster glasses and my face was too small to handle such big frames.  So... it all worked out. :)

*  A few days before the procedure, they have you come back in and take final measurements and give you a full dilated eye exam.  Contacts can change the shape of your eye.  They want to be sure the measurements they took the first day are accurate.

*  Even though the procedure is practically painless (remember there is a lot of pressure), there is some battle wounds on the eye.  I had some red marks on the white part of my eyes.  These will go away in a few days.

*  You have options with the type of procedure you choose.  I turn FORTY this year.  Gasp!  So, they offered me mono vision.  With mono vision, they change one eye for distance and one eye for reading.  I didn't opt for mono.  I'll take my chances with reading glasses in a few years.  They also have PRK.  If your corneas aren't thick enough for lasik, you can do PRK but the recovery is longer.

*  My procedure also includes all follow up visits and vision updates if my vision changes in the future.

 

I think that's it.  I hope you go for it.  It is worth it!

Dear Jane????

I wonder if there has been an uptick in Dear Jane Letters since the missionary age change announcement in conference? :)

I thought this song was funny.  It coulda been me.  If the current mission age were in effect when Ryan and I were dating, he would have been gone from June '91 - June '93 (Due to HS Graduation).  I would have been gone October '92 - April '94.

Ryan is such a tender heart, I'm pretty sure he would have been in a relationship or married by the time I got home.  It would have been a 10 month wait!  (Did I get all that math right Cami?)  Who knows what would have happened.

Although, I do have to say, by the skin of my teeth I lasted the full two years of his mission.  So..... I guess it can be done. :)

I'm glad it all worked out.  For our next mission experience, I'm relieved we'll be companions and we won't have to say goodbye.

 

The Gift My Mother Gave Me....

I love this.  (Go to the Blog if you are in a "reader".)

This coming Sunday is Mother's Day.  I know, I for one, am grateful for my mother and all she's taught me.  My values, my testimony, the core of who I am is because of my parents influence.

I loved what Maria Shriver had to say about mothers.

"You don't have to go out and start a Special Olympics movement.  If you can raise a child with self esteem, game over for me."

Last night, as we were getting out of the car for the boys' piano recital, I asked them if they had their music.  Jacks kind of snapped at me and said, "Yeesssss.  Why do you have to ask that?"  I answered, "Because I'm a mom.  And, that's what moms do."  :)

I hope my children will look back at their childhood, just as I do, and remember all the positive teachings and experience.  I hope they will be contributing members of society with strong testimonies of our Savior, who are self assured in who they are and where they are going in life.  And... I hope they remember to visit me. :)  Anything more is frosting.

In addition to my mom, I'm grateful for all the mothers in my life; my mother in law, Marlene, my friends, my sisters and sister in laws, and all of the strong women in my life who lead me, who encourage me, and who help me be a better woman each and every day.  Your efforts don't go unnoticed. 

You matter and you are making a difference.

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair...

Sometimes life isn’t fair.  In fact, sometimes it just sucks.  Some days, you just want someone to fix all the hard things in your life at that very moment.  But…. Life is what it is, right?  We all know those hard things are there to help us learn and grow.  But, sometimes that truth doesn’t make the process any easier.

Yesterday, I went to see a new Ph.D. who I’d hoped would help us get to the bottom of some reoccurring “Jackson” behaviors.  We’ve done behavior therapy before.  It wasn’t a cure all by any means.  Things with J are okay and he is doing great.  But… they could be better.  He has this underlying current of tension that could erupt at any moment.  It makes for a stressful home life.  (Funny thing – he is quite the angel at school and church.)

I kind of knew going into this appointment how it was going to turn out.  Ryan and I were both leery.  Not that we're pessimistic people, but just the reality of our situation is that chromosome duplications can’t be removed.  Plus, after being at this for 12.5 years, is there any new information that is going to change our world? 

As I suspected, all of the top doc’s strategies were things we’ve already tried - nothing new there.   He gave us strategies to help with the moods and the screaming - strategies that we’re already using.  Yes, there are things we can tweak.  Yes, there are things we could do better.  No one is perfect.  So, we’re going to try this again and hope we can stay focused to help Jackson break some of these bad habits.

The challenging part is to know when to apply which strategy and keeping your cool in the midst of chronic behavior.  With Jacks, you never quite know which mood you’re going to get.  All of a sudden you’ll be at DEFCON 10.  He could be a ray of sunshine, or he could come unglued at the littlest thing.  A lot of his behaviors occur without provocation.  So… you know…. You just need to be ready.  Fun, right? 

After I left the doctor’s office, I wasn’t hopeful.  In fact, I was anything but.  I knew we could try the tweaked techniques, but I kind of knew in my heart the frustrations we deal with on a daily basis are not going away.  The flat mood, the irritation with others, being easily frustrated, not flexible, etc. are always going to be there on some level and that makes me sad.  Like, really sad.

And, if I’m being honest, it also makes me sad the family has to navigate such a toxic and fragile environment.  At some point or another, I’ve had heart to hearts with every family member and they've all expressed the same frustration and grief.  Luckily we all struggle at different times and so we can be a support to one another in this marathon.   And, we can be a support to Jackson.  We know this isn’t fun for him either.  We all know this isn’t a sprint.

On the bright side, the appointment made me affirmed in my parenting.  When a doctor says you need to do this, this, and this, and you already are doing that, it makes you feel like you have a good grasp of the situation.  Again, we’re not perfect, but we’re not floundering either.  So… that’s a positive.

But then again, there is the sadness; sadness this won’t ever change, sadness the other kids have grief over the brother they thought they would have, did have at one point in their life (in their mind), and sadness that every outing and interaction takes this child’s reactions into account.  We all have to be very flexible.  The rest of the family is at times, help hostage to his needs.  Sometimes it is hard to have joy in this kind of service.

I realize that must sound really, really awful.  Just trying to keep things real.  And, I probably didn’t word that the right way.  I think the challenge and the frustrating aspect to these behavior spikes is that you never know when they are going to hit.  You think you have your bases covered and that you’ve adapted to account for his needs, and then a bomb will go off. 

Take San Diego for instance.  We were having a perfectly nice walk along the beach and boardwalk as a family.  Jackson said something in appropriate and we corrected him.  Instead of stopping, his tendency is to repeat and repeat.  This was an important dialogue and we couldn’t let him continue.  It needed to be addressed.  The situation turned out to be very frustrating for the entire family and quite the scene.  Every time these situations happen, whether at home or in the community, it breaks our hearts a little.   There is a level of grief that resurfaces when you lose perspective and frustration takes over. 

 

Yesterday’s appointment was a bit of an eye opener and another stage in my grief.  I thought, “This is it.  It probably isn’t going to get a lot better.”  In the big picture, it doesn’t matter.  I get that and I hold on to my hope of eternal truths tightly.  But, if you can’t find the joy, sometimes it is hard to enjoy the freaking journey.  You want your family to enjoy each other, not tolerate each other.  You want them to have good memories of home, not of anger and fighting.  You also want your son to have joy.  You want him to enjoy his life and be engaged. 

It makes me sad to see him frustrated, bored, scared, tired, angry, friendless, and so much more.  A lot of times, I realize I’m trying to push my hopes on to him.  I admit it is hard for me to decipher when to push him and when to let him be.  But, I’m the mom.  It’s my job to help him reach goals and be as successful and as independent as possible.  Although, when I see him struggle and I know he is unhappy, I know he feels the grief too.

Just so you know we aren’t Debbie Downers around here.  We do have lots of good moments and days with joy.  The more the family can regulate their reactions, the fewer the outbursts.  This morning, as I was helping Jackson get ready for school, I could tell he was ON ONE.  This could have easily been a knock out, drag out, morning.  But… I was focused and ready for him.  Within a minute, I had him turned around and we were on to the next thing.  We sat down and did his piano practice (crap, Circ… I’m turning into that mom J), we got his teeth brushed (I help him because he doesn’t have the dexterity to brush adequately – raging gingivitis last year), hair done, and math program done, etc.  We made it.  Maybe just the act of going to the Ph.D. will be the answer.  Maybe it is just like reporting your weight when you are trying to lose.  Maybe the accountability will be the key.  We’ll see.  I can’t think about it too much or I get overwhelmed at the amount of mental energy each day requires.

 

Because of the hope I have and the gospel principles I know to be true, I’m able to wrap my head around what we’re dealing with daily.  We’ve made it this far.  There has been so much progress over the last 12 years!  I know we’ll make it.  I just hope everyone makes it in one piece and with some good memories and life lessons. 

 

Everyone has something in their life that is a MAJOR challenge!!!  If you think they don’t, you just don’t know them that well.  Or, maybe they are unlucky and their Goliath is waiting in the wings.  In fact, a few days ago, I was kind of bummed about how things were going with Jacks.  I’ve always heard people say they wouldn’t ever want to switch challenges with another person.  So… I thought about that.  I started to think of people I knew who were going through tough challenges.  And you know what… they were right   I don’t want another person’s challenges.  They are too hard.  I think I’ll stick to the life lessons we’re learning, thank you very much. J

 

Some days, all you can do is breath in, breath out, and think to yourself, “You can do this!  You and Ryan can do hard things.   Lex can do hard things.   Jackson can do hard things.  Collin can do hard things.  Isabella can do hard things.  Come what may and love it.  This will be fine.  It will all work out.” 

Deep Inhale……..

 

Goals...

 

Look what I can do.  I've always wanted to be able to make delicious homemade rolls.  In order to help me accomplish this goal, I recruited a famous roll maker from my ward.  I've always loved her rolls.

After my roll success, my next step was bread.  My sil, Richelle, has a great bread recipe.  I invaded her home on break making day and learned all her tips and tricks.

I love learning new things... when they actually work out.

Now I just need a new oven.  My oven burns all my creations. :)  But, what do you expect.  A 1983 Jenn Air range was so 30  years ago. :)

The Unfinished List...

I'm so behind on posting that I'm not even sure if I've already posted this or not. :) 

Oh well.  If I have, then you get to see it again.

Every summer, we create a family fun list.  It contains all the fun things we want to do during the summer.  The kids help me create it and we write down every one's must have activities for the summer.  A chocolate fondue night was on Jackson's top ten list.

Well, summer came and went, and we never seemed to find the time to knock that one off the list.  But, who says you can only have fun in the summer.  One night we decided to pull out the fondue fountain and have some yummy fun.  As you can tell by the pictures, it was a delicious success.

Thanksgiving 2012...

We're to Thanksgiving!  We're making progress. :)

 

We celebrated the holiday with the Dopps this year.  As usual, Marlene goes above and beyond to make the holiday enjoyable for the whole family.  This year was no exception. 

 

While we were waiting for everyone to arrive, we enjoyed appetizers and also some tickle time with Grandpa.

I had an easy assignment this year.  The Salad. :)

 

 

 

Beautiful Lex.  I teased her that this was her Flintstones outfit.  I'm not sure if she even knows who the Flintstones are, but.... I thought she had a Pebbles vibe about her with that shirt.  I think she looks  cute.  Oh, and the collar on her shirt... she made it!  So crafty.

 

It was warm enough for the kids to get out some energy on the trampoline.  I love X's hair.  

Mom and Dad D, thank you for all your hard work.  We KNOW how much effort goes into making the holidays special.  We love and appreciate you.

Marlene wanted a picture of the gang for her Christmas Card.  We were able to snap this impromptu picture just before the sun set.  Look what happens when two people fall in love!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

SBW 2012!!!

The first weekend of November, my mom, sisters, and I went up to Cache Valley for our girls' weekend.  This solo time, away from kiddos and responsibility is SACRED and scheduled at least a year in advance!

My SIL, Cami, had a connection with a friend's vacation home up by Hyrum Reservoir.  It was PERFECT for our little get away.  All of us had our own rooms, it  had a huge kitchen, two family rooms, and was right next to the lake.  It was perfect for my morning run.  I hadn't ever been to Hyrum.  The downtown area is so quaint.  It was fun to run through their streets and get a sense of their community.  It was like a sleepy K-Town.

On the way back "home", I ran past this group of people raking leaves.  The streets were lined with huge maples and the streets were COVERED with their fallen golden foliage.  Coming upon this group, I could tell immediately they were from a ward.  I stopped to talk with them for a minute.  It turns out they were having a ward clean up day and helping some of the older people in the ward with their leaves.  This town, the scene in the street, and the groups of people were so Norman Rockwell.  I ran back to the house, grabbed my camera and asked them if I could shoot a few shots.  I wanted to send them into the church on their Vineyard, crowd sharing site.  Here is a link.  There are several opportunities for service.  You can add photos, videos, help tag and index photos, and so much more.  Go check it out.

 

 

After plenty of rest, a jammie day, and solving all the world's problems with our conversation :), we actually left our sanctuary and headed to Logan for sustenance.  I've always wanted to eat at the Bluebird.  It's rich with history and such an icon for that area.  The food was fair, (awesome if you like down home cooking).  They have a great little soda counter and chocolate assortment.  We were in heaven.  It wasn't quite Mrs. C's or See's, but it was sufficient for our needs.  

The Girls:
Julie, Cami, Mom, Annissa, Annalee, Kimi, and Mwah. :)

After lunch, we went our separate ways for errands and to do some retail damage.

In years past, we have gone to Park City and one or two places around SLC for our get-a-way.  However, we had so much fun and the sleeping arrangements were PERFECT, so we hope we get to return to this little hidden location.

Our next adventure is coming up in the spring.  But for me... it can't come fast enough.

Love you, girls!!!